The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
