Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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