ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
