its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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