me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
