fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize