she was so not down for the gang bang
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
