I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
