I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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