I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
