I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
