return my video game
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
