But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
