I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
