If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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