Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
