cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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