I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
