I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
