i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
