my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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