Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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