Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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