she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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