it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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