I'm going to jail i love you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
