So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
