so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
