The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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