don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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