is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize