she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
