hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
