Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
