who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
