so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
