Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
