im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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