I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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