Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
