I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You can't motorboat a personality
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize