i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
