i barfeds in our rink
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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