i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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