Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's blow job season.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
