dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
