Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
