whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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