I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
