Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
