literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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