careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
