from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
