the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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