I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
