How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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