i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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