It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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