i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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