so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
