Do vagina's smell?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
