is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Welp...herpes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
