I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize