I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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