Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
