I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
