yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
try to milk me bitch
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