If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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